


How to Come Out As Asexual in Five Easy Steps by Barry Kramer

by Anklebiters



Category: Game Grumps
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-17
Updated: 2015-02-17
Packaged: 2018-03-13 10:27:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3378116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anklebiters/pseuds/Anklebiters
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's not as easy as it sounds, actually.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How to Come Out As Asexual in Five Easy Steps by Barry Kramer

**Author's Note:**

> Another one shot since I'm incapable of writing stories with chapters, enjoy!

**_Step One: Be way too nervous to mention it at first_ **

_Barry was curled up next to his new boyfriend with a wii remote in hand as they talked about god knows what, who cares? Barry was just happy to be in his presence._

_"Fuck!" Dan yelled at the screen, Barry cringed at the loudness. Well so much for there cute romantic moment together._

_"Dan how are you this bad at Kirby's Epic Yarn?" Barry said, looking up at him with a smirk._

_"Listen Barry.." Dan said as he struggled to collect the gems he keeps losing,"My-my dad works at Nintendo."_

_Barry giggled at Dan,"Come on Danny I beat this when I was in my mothers womb." Dan threw his head back and laughed, Barry felt him relax as he finally got to a safe zone._

_When they fell into a comfortable silence Barry found this as a perfect opportunity._

_'Yeah just tell him, Dan'll be okay with it it's not like he'll break up with me... It's.. Not THAT big of a deal.' Barry thought to himself._

_"Hey Dan?" Barry said._

_'Right?'_

_"Yeah babe?" He asked, still having his eyes on the large tv screen. Focusing a bit too intently._

_"I need to uh. Like.. tell you something." Barry's voices' pitched raised at the end of the sentence as all his worries and worst-case-scenarios played in his head. Barry turned around hesitantly to look at Dan, he met his worried gaze._

_'Oh gosh.' Barrys heart was thumping,'I can't... I have to.. Why wait? If I tell him later I'll just look like an asshole won't I? But if he breaks up with me...'_

_"Yes?" Dan asked, concern was clear in his voice and face. He's so sweet,"What's wrong?" Dan added when Barry didn't answer right away._

_'I can't' Barry thought, helplessly._

_Barry turned his nervous face into a grin,"I love you." Barry was tense as he played this off, and he felt cold wash over him, he was so damn nervous._

_Dan let out a nervous laugh,"You asshole I thought you were breaking up with me already!" Dan put his hand over his heart and smiled in relief,"I love you too."_

_Barry's heart melted at his sweetness, well it would've if it wasn't beating like crazy. He smiled at Dan again as he turned around to continue the game, gripping the wii remote to steady his hands._

_Barry sighed quietly. This is gonna be impossible._

**_Step Two: Complain about step one to your friend_ **

_Barry groaned loudly as he walked into the Grump Office to signal Arin that he arrived. With that, Arin put his Wacom tablet down and spun around in his chair to look at him with an excited face._

_"So how'd it go?" Arin asked. So yeah, Arin had known Barry has been planning to come out as asexual to Dan. Well Arin has kinda known everything considering he was the one that set Barry and Dan up, that's another story though. Barry looked at Arin's eager face and sighed internally._

_"I didn't do it- yet!" Barry adds when Arin groans and rolls his eyes._

_"You chickened out again didn't you?" Arin sighed._

_"It's not as easy as it sounds!" Barry huffed, crossing his arms across his chest and meeting Arin's gaze._

_"Just let me do, Barry-"_

_"No! I'll do it I swear." Barry cuts him off, for some reason it wouldn't feel right to have Arin tell him instead of himself._

_"-Barry, Dan will still love you, he's understanding as hell, you know him." Arin says softly._

_Barry sighed and plopped down in his chair,"I... It's just I don't know it's so difficult, I'll get to it I know I will. Just let me work up the courage."_

_Arin scoffed, not in a mean way though,"Either that or I'll just get you drunk, you'll spill the beans in no time." Arin said and playfully smirked as he got back to work._

_'Note to self,' Barry thought,'Stay away from alcohol.'_

**_Step Three: Stress about it!_ **

_****Barry lied there, alone in bed. Danny was doing a late night grumping session with Arin. Giving plenty of time for Barry to not sleep at all and stress about his situation at hand. Yay!!!_

_Barry's could hear is phone buzz and he sighed a bit as he had to make the effort to roll over and pick up his phone that was on the nightstand._

_Arin: I can tell him right now if you waaaant._

_Barry could practically hear the sing-song half tease in the text._

_Barry: Arin please don't please I'm really tired I'll tell him when he gets home tomorrow I really want to tell him myself._

_Suddenly Barry got another text. It was, to his surprise, Dan._

_Dan: Why is Arin texting you, I'm totes jealous >:(_

_Barry: haha very funny_

_Dan: no but really I'm stuck with Arin and I miss you_

_Barry: oh please, get back to work, I'll see ya in the morning <3_

_Barry buried his face into his pillow, he loved Dan so damn much._

_'I'll go to sleep now.' Barry lied to himself. He spent the endless, lonely night, tossing and turning in a sea of worries, stress and nightmares._

 

**_Step Four: Wait until it's too late, then confess_ **

_Dan was on top of Barry, Barry didn't know how it happened. But it just so ended up that Dan was on top of him passionately kissing him._

_Oops._

_Dan moved his hand down Barry until it reached his pants, fumbling to unbutton them. ..._

_OOPS._

_Sirens and alarms were going off in Barry's head, and he felt sick, like his whole world was crashing down. Images of Dan telling Barry that it wasn't gonna work out flashed through his head and made him_ _more queasy. In fact, it's not like it hasn't happened before in past relationships._

_Barry broke away from the kiss,"Dan." He said, catching his breath._

_Dan looked at Barry with a confused look, still straddling him. The image was probably comedic, breaking the hot romantic scene with a boner-killing confession. Well it wasn't comedic to Barry, especially not at that moment._

_"I- I," Barry started trembling slightly, his heart thumping, he felt like he could burst into tears. All he could think about was Dan breaking up with him and ruining everything. Ruining their relationship, romantically and the chances of a friendship. Ruining_ _game grumps. Ruining his everything._

_"Barry?" Dan said softly and worriedly._

_"I'm sorry!" Barry blurted, and from that point a waterfall of words poured from his mouth,"Im asexual I'm sorry I really. I wanted to tell you but I was... fuck, I'm an idiot I'm so sorry I didn't tell you. I don't want you to break up with me I'd be willing to have sex with you if you really wanted. Really I would I would do that for you because Im a stupid idiot hopelessly in love with you and and-"_

_Barry was shaking and tears were welling up in his eyes. Dan was just staring at him which made silent tears fall, he fucked up, it's over it's all-_

_And then Dan pulled him into a hug, a really really meaningful hug, tears were still spilling out of Barry's eyes._

_"Barry I'm not gonna break up with you because you're asexual, are you crazy?" Dan chuckled softly, and it made Barry smile in relief, Dan pulled away,"I don't want to have sex with you if you don't want to, that's insane, I would never. And I'm okay with that because I love you Barry I really do and I care a lot about you, don't cry okay?"_

_Dan's words made Barry want to cry more, but not with stress or sadness. Barry was probably the happiest he'd been since he started stressing about this. He felt like a ton of bricks fell of his shoulders and the pressure in his chest dissipated. Dan let Barry recover and they sat in a comfortable silence._

_"Thank you so much Dan, I love you." Barry chuckled,"I've been stressing about this all week, ask Arin, I wouldn't stop complaining."_

_Dan grinned and giggled a bit,"Aww, Barry."_

_Barry thought for a second then felt the need to clarify,"By the way hugs and cuddling and kisses are still good and I enjoy those."_

_Dan laughed and pulled him into a kiss. And Barry was so happy._

**_Step Fi-_ **

"Hello!! Earth to Barry!" Arin said waving a hand in front of his face.

Barry blinked and looked at Arin,"Oh sorry." "

What're you think about." Arin look at him suspiciously, with his arms crossed.

"Just how well I handled coming out as asexual to Dan," Barry laughed when Arin rolled his eyes to this statement,"I should write a book, imagine the title now: _How To Come Out As Asexual in Five Easy Steps by Barry Kramer._ "

[Authors note: *credits roll*]

"It isn't the catchiest title is it?" Arin laughed as he went to the kitchen to go get something.

Barry thought back to his wonderful steps.

**Step one: Be too way to nervous to mention it at first**

**Step Two: Complain about step one to your friend**

**Step Three: Stress about it!**

**Step Four: Wait until its too late, then confess**

And step five.. Barry had to think for a moment.

**Step Five: There isn't really a step five I guess, "in five easy steps" sounds catchier than "in four easy steps" doesn't it? Hopefully step four worked out as miraculously as it did for yours truly. (Disclaimer: you probably shouldn't follow these steps -Barry)**

**Author's Note:**

> I just finished editing and man this is a bitch to edit on mobile sorry if there are any mistakes!


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